repercussions would be even more immediate and affect bottom line substantially. Prevention of unnecessary conflicts among colleagues, associates and clients would only be possible if relationships are built on support, understanding and respect.

Why do we not have great relationships in the workplace?

First and foremost, it’s the classic “It’s not my problem”. We think that we are “alright” in our treatment of others and if there is a problem with any relationship, “please take a look at the other party”. And in some circumstances, it is an accepted scenario that working relationships will have problems so we take it that it’s part of life.

Secondly, people don’t realize that as long as you are in the same organization, whatever happens that is counter-productive has an effect on almost everyone.

A simple example is that of a manager in manufacturing not pleased with the sales department and not doing his or her best to deliver goods to the customers may result in dissatisfaction on the part of the customers and subsequent termination of orders from the manufacturer. Resulting in lower sales and profit for the manufacturer and even lower incentives and bonuses for the entire organization.

Thirdly, lack of knowledge and skill to create great relationships

Sometime, even when we do pursue great relationships with everyone in the workplace, it is still unsuccessful, simply because with lack the knowledge and skill necessary for it. Relationships are made up of the most complicated things in this whole earth; humans. What makes a person thinks, feels, say, do, decide etc the way he or she does? To develop understanding for another person, we need to understand what makes the person tick and even more importantly, we must know what makes us, tick.

Some tips on creating great relationships at work

Responsibility

For relationship to improve, at least one party should decide the relationship is important and make an effort to improve it. Taking responsibility is often the first step to improve anything. Realizing that “I may have some part to play in the souring of relationship with that person” is a great way to start. If I am not happy about a relationship, it is more useful for me to think about what I need to do, or not do, to make it better. I can change my behavior much more easily than I can persuade you to change yours.

Keeping your integrity

In an organization, work is interconnected. If you fail to meet deadlines and commitments, you affect the work of other employees. Affecting the work performance of another is one sure way for a relationship to deteriorate. Always keep commitments, and if you can't, make sure all affected employees know what happened at the earliest possible time so that contingencies can be applied. Keeping your integrity would not only improve your relationships, it would bring your life to a whole new level of success, happiness and fulfillment.

Communication

The best way to understand is to listen and observe without making premature judgments. In my experience, active listening can help you discover, remarkably, that, often, we want the same things. When listening, you are encouraged to listen from your heart; listen with compassion and understanding, put yourself in the other person’s shoe and understand why they say the things they do, what is the underlying feelings expressed. Always ask how the person feels about what he or she is saying and what makes the person feels that way. Listening without judgment and interruption takes great discipline. We must remember the reward for this great discipline is a great relationship which is immeasurable.

Appreciating People

Appreciation means a rise in value. Appreciate everything that comes your way, be it people, things, situations or events in your life. If you do that constantly, you will see a remarkable change in your business and your life! Remember that no one is perfect. All of us have idiosyncrasies, shortcomings, life crises and bad days. Appreciate the difference. One important and simple factor of appreciation is saying “Thank You”. Being the courteous person that we are, we would probably say “Thank You” tens of times everyday, so much so it has become perfunctory. We say thanks as it is expected of us, though I feel sad to think that we miss out such great opportunities to appreciate another human being. The next time an opportunity arise for you to thank someone, it could be the fast-food counter staff, your children, the food hawker or anyone else. Look the person in the eyes and then say “Thank You” from your heart. Feel the warm feeling in your heart and the special appreciation from the recipient from your appreciation. This is one of the simplest and most effective relationship builders.

Do unto others

Do you want others to pay full attention when you speak to them? Do you want others to appreciate the things you do? Do you want people to value your relationship with them? If you answer yes to the above, guess what, so do almost everyone else. If you would like to develop great relationships with everyone, ask yourself, how would I like to be treated by others and use that standard as your yardstick in your relationships with others. Then look forward to a much more fulfilling, happy and profitable life.

Create an organization culture where people value relationships

When we are able to express anger, irritation, sadness, happiness, joy or contentment, we feel more connected to the other person. Unexpressed feelings with anyone can get in the way of building closeness. It is difficult for two people to have a useful conversation if one of them is unaware that the other is angry about something the he or she said or did. Organizational cultures should strongly encourage individuals to connect constantly and develop a passionate commitment to achieve wonderful things together.